Just exactly What were the possibilities things could find yourself violently between us — beside me, of course, obtaining the shitty end? Might Trayvon force himself that I was unwilling to simply accept but struggling to stop? On me personally in ways! They were perhaps maybe perhaps not idle questions. We thought long and difficult relating to this, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t do this. Predicated on exactly exactly what, webcam sex you may well ask? Good question — we don’t understand.
Another consideration ended up being, the thing that was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Obviously, he’d have a intercourse partner and also at minimum some access to my canteen account. We knew he’d simply no cash, in which he knew that I’d at the very least some funds. Maybe he had been actually drawn to me personally in which he ended up being a mooch — an opportunity was represented by me to meet both requirements! Ended up being here such a thing certainly incorrect with that? Only at that very early phase we told myself that so long I was okay to let him have a soup or a honey bun when he wanted something as he didn’t get too greedy. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? In the end, we endured getting one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have jail bad-ass on my part in the event i obtained threatened or harassed.
Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he’d to have tested occasionally and blah blah that is blah. I didn’t press the problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Rather I inquired myself — remember, this person ended up being assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC assign a guy with HIV to this type or sort of work? I had to trust the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later laughed within my confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or dose that is single. Consequently we judged him become healthier.
Was I truly the only guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either there in my own dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A prison dorm is all about the smallest amount of personal destination you can reside in, thus I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other buddies, black & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on any one of those dudes? Response — no. As to I must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have been paying so much attention whether I cared. But we told myself we cared maybe maybe maybe not away from jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless racking your brains on their genuine motives and concerned about getting an STD.
We asked myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Just What would which means that? We had been divorced!
Could carrying this out somehow turn me personally homosexual after an eternity to be that is straight minimum because it pertains to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I became making a unique exception for this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that could end whenever we finished. We thought, “Trayvon is an unique situation. What other young black colored guys might be thinking about a mature white guy? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I became simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.
Before looking at the possibility advantages Trayvon had to provide being a “friend with advantagesthat I did not think about ahead of time — although in hindsight I really should have” I need to mention one last rather serious problem! Which was, assume we had been discovered? Suppose rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? What would we do, if such a thing, to squelch such rumors?